


They know, but not really, they don't.

by Natasha_Stark208



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, F/M, Not Happy, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-07
Updated: 2019-06-07
Packaged: 2020-04-12 08:19:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19128172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Natasha_Stark208/pseuds/Natasha_Stark208
Summary: The only thing Tony Stark envies in the whole wide world is Natasha Romanoff’s ability to lie. Or is it Natalia Romanova’s? He can’t really tell the difference anymore.





	They know, but not really, they don't.

The only thing Tony Stark envies in the whole wide world is Natasha Romanoff’s ability to lie. Or is it Natalia Romanova’s? He can’t really tell the difference anymore.

He envies how easy it is for her to come home to him day after day and invent stories of what she did. She danced? No, she helped him look for him. She trained rookie agents? No, she helped him look for him. She ate food? No, she helped him look for him. She _breathed?_ No, she helped him look for him. And the worst part of all of it is how she smiles at him while lying, because it’s the exact way she’s been smiling at him for years now, and he knows she’s not being honest so was it ever really genuine? 

He knows everything. She doesn’t know he knows and he doesn’t tell her because she doesn’t tell him either. Instead, Tony shows her. Sometimes he pulls back voluntarily, sometimes it happens unconsciously, but it happens, and Natasha tries to understand, a part of her knows what is happening, but she doesn’t try enough, because trying enough would mean telling him the truth, which she doesn’t. He knows everything. 

She knows he knows something, but not everything. Natasha has lost Tony before, but she pulled him back to her, and now? Well now she doesn’t know how to do that because she doesn’t know exactly how much he knows and she doesn’t want him to know more than what he already knows because it’s going to hurt him so bad, she knows it will. So she tries to make it up for something she doesn’t know what it is, and of course, it doesn’t go well, it gets worse day by day, to a point where he actually physically shrugs off I love you. She knows he knows something, but not everything.

He knows she doesn’t know he knows everything, just something. He can tell she’s been trying to compensate, and as much as it hurts him to hurt her, he starts sleeping in the workshop because he’s too tired to go upstairs or because it’s warmer or because of whatever excuse he comes up with that night. Every look, every touch, every time she breathes in his general direction, he breaks, he breaks because he knows she doesn’t know he knows everything, just something.

She knows, even though he doesn’t know she knows he knows, she knows. And that’s all that happens, Natasha just knows, because they don’t talk anymore and because even though they live together and are both at home at the same time they haven’t seen each other for a week. She knows, even though he doesn’t know she knows he knows, she knows.

He knows she knows he knows, because she stops trying, or maybe he just stops trying to let her try to fix them. He doesn’t know. Is she trying at all? It doesn’t matter, because as long as she doesn’t tell him the truth, it won’t be enough. So they both watch together from different rooms as the delicate and fragile relationship they built over the years upon trust of all things slowly falls apart, and no one notices, no one knows, no one helps, because _‘This is ours sweetheart, not anyone else’s’._ He knows she knows he knows. 

So now they both know, and Natasha agrees with him but instead of the friendly quip she expected ( _‘I’m sorry, did I mishear or did you just agree with me?’_ ), instead of one of the friendly quips they both have been throwing around because _‘This is ours sweetheart, not anyone else’s’_ so no one knows and they need to keep the appearances, Tony, energetic, happy, excited, glowing Tony, who radiates warmth, shoots her a look so cold the room temperature falls to a negative and everyone feels it and everyone’s eyes are on them and everyone can tell something’s up and everyone somehow knows from the way he looks at her that there is something missing and everyone somehow knows he’s done listening to whatever she has to say for good and it _hurts_ , it hurts so bad, and she can feel the cracks in her heart, the heart _he_ rebuilt, the heart _he_ put together again, finally letting go of something that isn’t there anymore, of something that hasn’t been there for a while now, and shattering, piece by piece, until there’s nothing more left to break, because they both know and Tony just turns to Steve and keeps talking as if nothing happened, as if they both didn’t just feel the same thing, as if they never said to each other _‘I would never hurt you’_ because they both know. 

____

____

And then they don’t know. Tony knows and Natasha knows but Tony and Natasha don’t know because there is no more Tony and Natasha, there is Tony and then there’s Natasha, in different sides of the world, and there will never be another Tony and Natasha again. They know, but not really, they don’t. 


End file.
